So let's see..... since the last post we have turned in all of our paper work for the home study. A HUGE relief!! It was such a good feeling to bring in the final stack of papers!
Also, this past Friday and Saturday, we had a pre-adopt, pre-foster parent training course. I was excited for the class because I thought we were finally going to be learning things that pertained to our type of adoption (the other classes have focused on older children). Unfortunately, this was not the case, again. The majority of the information covered in this training was for people adopting older children (MN waiting children). We had to take the course because in WI we have to be licensed for foster care.
It was a very difficult class to be in. We saw videos of kids telling their stories about why they were put in foster care and the things they have experienced while there. We also listened to a 911 call from a 7 year old girl who's step father was abusing her mother and baby sister. It was heart breaking to say the least. We talked about different forms of abuse and the lasting effects it has on the kids. We also learned about the effects that different drugs and alcohol have on babies, which is something that we could possibly be faced with. So while the majority of the information was not relevant to our situation, there were a few things presented for us to think about and consider as we move forward.
Overall, it was a very hard and emotionally draining two days. My heart broke for the children whose stories we heard. But as Ryan helped me to see, we could possibly be "saving" a baby, who would have experienced these things if we were not adopting him/her. As we talked about at the closing of each day, the information presented was making everyone really think about what a HUGE and life-changing decision we were all making. (We were the youngest couple in the class (about 8 couples), and the only ones doing a domestic infant adoption.)
The next steps: November 2nd we have our in-home visit. Our social worker will come to our house to make sure that it is a safe environment for a baby, and then ask Ryan and I some questions individually. Then on November 6th we have a car seat safety training course. After these 2 things, we wait. It will take 1-2 months for our social worker to write our report. It will need to go through several different people in the office who make suggestions and revisions.
During this time we will be working on our profile. We will make a (roughly) 3-5 page book with pictures and a Dear Birthmother letter. We will make several copies of this for the agency. When the agency is meeting with a Birthmother, they will call us and tell us her situation. We will then decide if this is a situation that we are open to. If not, they will not show that Birthmother our profile. If so, they will take our profile, along with any other adoptive couples open to that situation, with to show the Birthmother. She will choose 1 or 2 profiles that she would like to meet with or get more information on.
Also, during this time, we will be working on the nursery :) We need to be prepared if by chance it all goes very quickly. While it's not extremely likely, there is still a possibility, and we want to be prepared for that. Plus it helps to pass the time, and feels like we are still working towards our dream :)
This week, while we still need the prayers (our Birthmother, baby, and Ryan and I), please also pray for all of the children in foster care. There are so many heartbreaking stories.
Love,
Ryan and Christa
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Keeping the faith!
I came across this tonight.... sorry if it makes you cry, I just wanted to share it :)
FROM YOUR BABY:
With every tear that falls, there is a lost heart that calls.
it calls to say I'm here, don't despair, I will come to you
when the time is right, when you least expect me and through
...the quiet night open your heart to me, accept me, I will be there
in the end.
Your wait may be long, you may get frustrated by the whole
ordeal. In the end I will be real. While others around you are
succeeding your heart goes on bleeding.
I would thank you for being patient, I would thank you for
being the kind of person who shows persistence. If it were not
for this, I may never get the chance to have an existence.
In the chaos of your day, the calm of your night, let your heart
soar and take flight.
For so many tears, for so many years. You have been trying,
thinking of giving up but never doing it. In the end you just keep
on going in the hopes that I will come to you, the one who deserves
me, the one who can love me as no other can. You will be that
mother that you always wanted to be. Just you keep waiting for me.
FROM YOUR BABY:
With every tear that falls, there is a lost heart that calls.
it calls to say I'm here, don't despair, I will come to you
when the time is right, when you least expect me and through
...the quiet night open your heart to me, accept me, I will be there
in the end.
Your wait may be long, you may get frustrated by the whole
ordeal. In the end I will be real. While others around you are
succeeding your heart goes on bleeding.
I would thank you for being patient, I would thank you for
being the kind of person who shows persistence. If it were not
for this, I may never get the chance to have an existence.
In the chaos of your day, the calm of your night, let your heart
soar and take flight.
For so many tears, for so many years. You have been trying,
thinking of giving up but never doing it. In the end you just keep
on going in the hopes that I will come to you, the one who deserves
me, the one who can love me as no other can. You will be that
mother that you always wanted to be. Just you keep waiting for me.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Check...Check....Checking things off the list!
Last week we went to a Children's Mental Health Training course. It was interesting, but we felt it was not really something that would pertain to us for several years because we wouldn't know about any learning disabilities until then. Nevertheless we did gain some valuable information. CHECK!
Yesterday we had our second meeting with our social worker and turned in a bunch more paperwork! CHECK! The meeting consisted of going through each of our autobiographies and answering any questions they had or expanding on anything we wrote. Although we wrote them privately, we read each others when we were done, and it was fun learning new things and gaining insight on each other. It's funny that even though we have known each other for 13+ years, there are still things to learn!
The next step is finishing up paperwork (which we are very close to doing!) and attending 2 more classes. One of the classes is a two day class on pre-adopt and pre-foster parent training. I am actually kind of excited for this because I think we will learn some really valuable information! And then we also have to do a car seat safety course that we have yet to sign up for.
After all of that is done, our social worker will come out to our house to make sure that it is a safe environment to raise a child. We have to get some fire extinguishers and put up a fire exit plan on each floor.. I laugh because I picture our baby trying to look at the map and figure out a way to get out the door. But hopefully it is not something that we will ever need to use.
Then we will have to wait while our social worker writes our home study report. It gets passed through several people in the office that ready over it and make any corrections or suggestions. Our social worker said yesterday that this can take one to two months to complete. :( We weren't expecting it to take quite that long, but I suppose its good to be thorough. So it looks like we are looking at the end of November or into December for us to get in the book! We can't wait!
Take care!
Ryan and Christa
Yesterday we had our second meeting with our social worker and turned in a bunch more paperwork! CHECK! The meeting consisted of going through each of our autobiographies and answering any questions they had or expanding on anything we wrote. Although we wrote them privately, we read each others when we were done, and it was fun learning new things and gaining insight on each other. It's funny that even though we have known each other for 13+ years, there are still things to learn!
The next step is finishing up paperwork (which we are very close to doing!) and attending 2 more classes. One of the classes is a two day class on pre-adopt and pre-foster parent training. I am actually kind of excited for this because I think we will learn some really valuable information! And then we also have to do a car seat safety course that we have yet to sign up for.
After all of that is done, our social worker will come out to our house to make sure that it is a safe environment to raise a child. We have to get some fire extinguishers and put up a fire exit plan on each floor.. I laugh because I picture our baby trying to look at the map and figure out a way to get out the door. But hopefully it is not something that we will ever need to use.
Then we will have to wait while our social worker writes our home study report. It gets passed through several people in the office that ready over it and make any corrections or suggestions. Our social worker said yesterday that this can take one to two months to complete. :( We weren't expecting it to take quite that long, but I suppose its good to be thorough. So it looks like we are looking at the end of November or into December for us to get in the book! We can't wait!
Take care!
Ryan and Christa
Friday, September 24, 2010
Yet another learning experience.....
Today we met with another couple that adopted domestically through HOPE. It was kind of funny because She is a CPA and He is a teacher, so naturally we hit it off with them! :) They were really nice, and they brought their 4 month old little boy... so adorable! They shared their journey with us, which included 3 (yes I said 3) attempts at adopting. The first time, they received a call two days after they were put "in the book." They were one of two couples, and the birth mother chose the other couple. The second time, they were chosen, and on the last possible day to terminate the parental rights, the birth father came forward and said he wanted to keep the child. Finally, they got a call saying a birth mother had just given birth, and chose them to give the baby to. They had less than a day, to prepare for the baby before they had to leave for the hospital.
She said that she wasn't really prepared for such an emotional roller coaster; she just assumed that the process would be quick and smooth. It really opened our eyes, because we were thinking the same thing! Unfortunately, this is something that we have to be prepared for.
Overall, it took them over a year to be matched with a birth family. We are hoping that it won't be quite so long for us, because they don't have as many families in their pool waiting to adopt domestically right now. Also, HOPE has been doing a lot more advertising at local hospitals and schools. Unfortunately, there is absolutely no way of knowing how long it will take. It just depends on how many women are looking for adoptive families for their babies, and choose us.
Also today, although a little premature :), we bought a car seat! Thanks Mom and Dad! I wanted to buy it before I ended up spending the money on something else. But the couple did tell us today that they think it's a good idea to get the nursery ready and put a picture of it in our profile. It shows the prospective birth mothers that we are ready at any moment for a baby! It's hard though because I want to know if it's going to be a boy or a girl.... perhaps I need to let go of that and make it gender neutral???
Thanks again everyone for the amazing support! It really means a lot to us!
If you haven't done so already, please pass along the link to others that I did not have emails for. We don't mean to leave anyone out of "the loop" :)
Love,
Ryan and Christa
She said that she wasn't really prepared for such an emotional roller coaster; she just assumed that the process would be quick and smooth. It really opened our eyes, because we were thinking the same thing! Unfortunately, this is something that we have to be prepared for.
Overall, it took them over a year to be matched with a birth family. We are hoping that it won't be quite so long for us, because they don't have as many families in their pool waiting to adopt domestically right now. Also, HOPE has been doing a lot more advertising at local hospitals and schools. Unfortunately, there is absolutely no way of knowing how long it will take. It just depends on how many women are looking for adoptive families for their babies, and choose us.
Also today, although a little premature :), we bought a car seat! Thanks Mom and Dad! I wanted to buy it before I ended up spending the money on something else. But the couple did tell us today that they think it's a good idea to get the nursery ready and put a picture of it in our profile. It shows the prospective birth mothers that we are ready at any moment for a baby! It's hard though because I want to know if it's going to be a boy or a girl.... perhaps I need to let go of that and make it gender neutral???
Thanks again everyone for the amazing support! It really means a lot to us!
If you haven't done so already, please pass along the link to others that I did not have emails for. We don't mean to leave anyone out of "the loop" :)
Love,
Ryan and Christa
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
From the beginning........
Ryan and I have been trying to get pregnant for 4 1/2 years. We're tired of all the appointments, shots, side effects, money wasted, and mostly the emotional roller coaster. We are more than ready to become parents and are so excited to finally see a baby in our near future!
We started researching agencies about three months ago. We have decided to go with HOPE in Oak Park Heights. We have been very busy doing paperwork, and are relieved to have finished our autobiographies!! Such a huge weight lifted! We have had one meeting with our social worker, and will have 2 to 3 more. Our next meeting is scheduled for October 5th, to go over more paperwork and questions. We have also completed one training course on Multicultural parenting. We still have about 3 or 4 classes left to do.
They say the Home Study will take 3-4 months depending on how fast we can complete paperwork, schedule meetings, and attend classes. I think we're moving at a pretty good pace so far!
We are doing a Domestic infant adoption. Once we complete our Home Study, we will be put "in the book." Our profile will be given to birthmothers who come to HOPE looking for adoptive couples, lawyers working for a birthmother, or other agencies looking for adoptive parents. We are also relying on word of mouth. We are trying to just get our name out there to anyone and everyone who may know someone who is pregnant and deciding what to do.
Once a birth mother has chosen us, it could be months, weeks, or even days before the baby is born. They even told us at HOPE that mothers have called while in labor! So we are preparing for the possibility of a very short notice! How exciting!!
Want to know what you can do to help?? Well first and foremost, prayers are very much appreciated! They have gotten us this far in this journey, but we're not done yet! We truly believe that the baby that's meant for us, will be brought into our lives, and we can't wait!!
Secondly, please keep your eyes and ears open for anyone who could possibly be interested in adoption. We know this is probably a long shot, but just in case.
Lastly, we really want to say thank you to all of you for being there for us on this journey. We could not have made it this far without each and every one of you! Although it has been the hardest thing we have ever been through, we continue to see positives along the way. We truly believe that we are going through this for a reason and can't wait to meet that reason!
Love
Ryan and Christa
We started researching agencies about three months ago. We have decided to go with HOPE in Oak Park Heights. We have been very busy doing paperwork, and are relieved to have finished our autobiographies!! Such a huge weight lifted! We have had one meeting with our social worker, and will have 2 to 3 more. Our next meeting is scheduled for October 5th, to go over more paperwork and questions. We have also completed one training course on Multicultural parenting. We still have about 3 or 4 classes left to do.
They say the Home Study will take 3-4 months depending on how fast we can complete paperwork, schedule meetings, and attend classes. I think we're moving at a pretty good pace so far!
We are doing a Domestic infant adoption. Once we complete our Home Study, we will be put "in the book." Our profile will be given to birthmothers who come to HOPE looking for adoptive couples, lawyers working for a birthmother, or other agencies looking for adoptive parents. We are also relying on word of mouth. We are trying to just get our name out there to anyone and everyone who may know someone who is pregnant and deciding what to do.
Once a birth mother has chosen us, it could be months, weeks, or even days before the baby is born. They even told us at HOPE that mothers have called while in labor! So we are preparing for the possibility of a very short notice! How exciting!!
Want to know what you can do to help?? Well first and foremost, prayers are very much appreciated! They have gotten us this far in this journey, but we're not done yet! We truly believe that the baby that's meant for us, will be brought into our lives, and we can't wait!!
Secondly, please keep your eyes and ears open for anyone who could possibly be interested in adoption. We know this is probably a long shot, but just in case.
Lastly, we really want to say thank you to all of you for being there for us on this journey. We could not have made it this far without each and every one of you! Although it has been the hardest thing we have ever been through, we continue to see positives along the way. We truly believe that we are going through this for a reason and can't wait to meet that reason!
Love
Ryan and Christa
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